“To lose confidence in one’s body is to lose confidence in oneself.” -Simone de Beauvoir

This is about to get adult. Back away if you are uncomfortable. However, if you are female or are sexually attracted to anyone that has typically female anatomy, I hope you’ll stick around and listen up.

Women’s bodies have been poked, prodded, judged, and misunderstood since the beginning of civilization. This is not news. Anyone that is paying the least bit of attention knows the damaging effects of societal pressure for females to look, act, and respond a certain way. Because of heightened awareness the last few decades, we have made great strides, but oh the distance we still have to go.

One thing that makes clear the journey ahead of us is the subject of ‘squirting’. Every once in a while a new ‘study’ will emerge that says that women aren’t actually capable of such a thing, that any copious amount of liquid coming from sexually excited women is just urine. Hear that ladies? You can’t even tell whether you’re peeing or not.

To which I state, Fuck No.

Another of these irresponsible, misleading studies came out recently. The backlash has been swift and wonderful. Women have taken to Twitter to post images of bed sheets damp with what they know is #NotPee. Two of my favorite YouTubers also decided it was time to address the issue, Lindsey Doe and Laci Green. Their informative videos are below.

What it comes down to is this – too often our doctors and our scientists have been content with not knowing and whining about the complexity of female anatomy. Pile on to that the shame society places on bodies, especially female bodies and specifically the sexually functioning parts of a female body, and you have generations of women who truly don’t know what is going on down there.

A tragic example of this played out in the Netflix show Orange is the New Black. This is part of the episode entitled The Hole:

The tragic part isn’t that this happened on a fictitious show, it’s what happened after it aired. Social media was ablaze with women having the same conversations, amazed at what they didn’t know about their own bodies, what they had never dared ask.

Ladies, grab a mirror. Experts, start listening. If we seek to understand what surrounds us, we must understand what’s within us.


14 thoughts on ““To lose confidence in one’s body is to lose confidence in oneself.” -Simone de Beauvoir

    1. Nothing is shocking when you live in America, except, perhaps, when someone admits they don’t believe in a god. Boys have been traditionally raised to be proud of what they own Girls have been traditionally raised to believe someone else owns those parts.

      1. Exactly. Something I read once talked about how if men had periods, not only would there be tampons and tylenol in every bathroom, it would likely be a chest bumping exercise. The amount of blood, how many days, level of pain – all of it would be compared to see who is the most manly. I’m not saying that would be good, but it is a thoughtful example of how differently our bodies are viewed. I’m willing to bet PMS would be normal and expected as well, not a punchline or excuse to dismiss thoughts and feelings.

  1. Great post! It is heartening to see women feel free to discuss such matters. Society is evolving to the positive and women are becoming accepted by more men as sexual and social equals. Ancient beliefs and attitudes of gender superiority die hard, but it is women like you that are forging the new, ethical future through education.

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